June 9, 2012
As much as I love roller coaster, I'm ready to dismantle this one. The ups & downs are terrifying and the pain has finally (?) become too much to bear. I've been resisting letting go of my old map. It is sad - so sad for me to let it go. I've spent my whole life gathering the tools & skills I'd need, charting my course, setting my goals & pushing through obsticles along the way.
BUT
THE MAP IS
NO LONGER VALID!
This is uncharted territory for me and it's about work & views and it's me & God & all my helpers seen & unseen.
It's about setting a healthy example
It's about taking life as it comes & making the best of it
It's about asking for help when I need it and helping when I can
It's about remembering
- I am NOT in control, I can't do it alone
- GOD CAN
- I will let Him (take care of me and give everything to God)
- I'll uncover the layers as I go
- I'll open my heart to God as I go along, I'll seek a sounding board when I need help with clarity
- I'll identify my weaknesses
- I'll ask God to heal my heart
- I'll work on my relationships
- I'll meet others 1/2 way or more
- I'll check in with God everyday and repent and think of what I can do better
- I'll ask God what He wants me to do. I'll listen. I'll spend time in scriptures & meditating. I'll do what I can . I'll trust in the Lord to make up the difference.
- I'll help & welcome others & honestly share, I'll invite, I'll pray for my sisters.
TIME, it takes so much time.
Life HURTS - so we can learn
God LOVES - they're all good things
I can only GIVE if I take CARE of me first
It's about LOVE and ACCEPTANCE of MYSELF & OTHERS
This whole journey has been horrific. Each step has felt more painful than the last. I love to hike & life is like climbing a mountain - so hard but worth all the effort. I can't help but thing though that I wouldn't like hiking so much if there were broken bones, blood and depression along the way. I suppose if I went through life without having to overcome major maladies/painful challenges I'd feel ripped off in the end.
Life is suffering.
It is.
But the suffering & lows lead us to greater heights, greater understanding, greater ability to help others along on their paths.
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